More Than Keeping the Peace
Five Ways to Become a Peacemaker
We all say we want peace. So why do we have such a difficult time experiencing it?
Why do marriages fall apart, friendships end, families stop talking, and churches experience division?
I wonder if part of the problem is that we have misunderstood what peace actually is. We have learned how to keep everyone comfortable without ever addressing what is broken.
Jesus calls us to something deeper in the sermon on the mount. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” — Matthew 5:9
In other words, because Jesus made peace for us through the cross, we are called to do more than keep the peace; we are called to make peace like our Heavenly Father.
Peacekeeping and Peacemaking Are Different
When I talk about peacekeeping here, I mean maintaining the appearance of harmony by avoiding the truth.
You can have a marriage where nobody argues, but nobody is really talking. You can have friendships where everyone gets along, but nobody addresses what is broken. You can even have a church where everyone smiles on Sunday while resentment and division grow underneath the surface.
Peacekeeping has the appearance of peace without actually having peace.
Peacekeeping asks, “How can I keep anyone from getting upset?” Peacemaking asks, “How can I move toward what is broken with truth, humility, and love?”
That difference matters.
Through Jeremiah, God confronted leaders who were saying, “Peace, peace,” when there was no peace (Jeremiah 6:14). They were assuring people that everything was fine while refusing to address their rebellion against God.
And I wonder how often we do the same thing.
We call it peace when we ignore sin. We call it peace when we avoid a difficult conversation because we are afraid of the response.
When we pursue peace at the expense of truth, we haven’t made peace. We’ve simply made room for sin.
Now, that doesn’t mean being confrontational makes you courageous. Our culture already celebrates enough people who are hostile, divisive, and constantly looking for a fight. Peacemakers speak truth with gentleness and love.
Imagine telling someone around the dinner table how Jesus has forgiven you. Then you say, “And Jesus wants to forgive you too.”
Suddenly, the atmosphere changes.
“Wait. Are you saying I’m a bad person? Are you saying I need forgiveness?”
The temptation is to backpedal. We want everyone comfortable again. We don’t want to ruin dinner.
But we can become more concerned about keeping the peace around the table than helping someone experience peace with God.
We can respond humbly: “I need forgiveness too. That’s why Jesus is such good news.”
Who in your life are you more concerned about keeping comfortable than helping experience the peace of Jesus?
Jesus Made Peace Through the Cross
Biblical peace is bigger than the absence of conflict. The Old Testament word shalom carries the idea of wholeness, well-being, and life as God intended it.
But that kind of peace begins with reconciliation to God.
Colossians 1:20 tells us that Jesus made peace “by the blood of his cross.”
Think about that. The same Jesus who created all things and holds all things together came to reconcile sinful people to a holy God.
He didn’t ignore our sin or pretend our rebellion wasn’t a problem. He lived the perfectly righteous life we could never live and bore the judgment our sins deserved. He rose again, and everyone who trusts him receives forgiveness and peace with God.
He didn’t make peace by avoiding conflict. He made peace by bearing the cost of our reconciliation.
That peace changes our relationship with God, our relationships with one another, and the way we face difficult circumstances.
Jesus brings divided people together. In Ephesians 2:14, Paul calls Jesus our peace, describing how he broke down the hostility between Jews and Gentiles. We don’t have to share the same background, experiences, or preferences to belong together. We are united through Christ.
And the Holy Spirit helps us experience God’s peace as we learn to trust him.
There is a difference between having peace with God and experiencing the peace of God. Our reconciliation rests on what Jesus accomplished. Our experience of his peace grows as we take him at His word and abide in Him in the middle of life’s difficulties.
But here's what I have done, I keep telling ourselves we will finally have peace when the finances improve, the kids are doing well, and life becomes predictable.
What if we are shrinking God’s peace down to our ability to control our circumstances?
Jesus offers us something deeper than a predictable life. He gives us himself.
Five Ways to Be a Peacemaker
Jesus says peacemakers will be called sons of God. As we spend time with our Heavenly Father, we begin to resemble him.
So what does that look like?
1. Examine yourself first.
Before you address someone else’s sin, examine your own heart. Jesus calls us to deal with the log in our own eye before addressing the speck in someone else’s (Matthew 7:3–5).
Have you exaggerated? Assumed the worst? Punished someone through silence or sarcasm?
Sometimes we become so focused on what someone else has done that we fail to recognize what is happening in us.
Peacemakers ask God to examine them before they begin examining everyone else. They take responsibility and ask for forgiveness where it is needed.
2. Seek to understand before demanding to be understood.
Proverbs 18:17 reminds us that the first account of a situation can sound convincing until another person is heard.
Peacemakers listen. They ask questions. They resist assuming they already know someone’s motives.
That requires humility, especially when the conflict involves you. You will want to defend yourself, protect your reputation, and explain why you are right.
But maybe the best place to start is asking questions. Seeking to understand. Making peace requires being willing to move toward someone without demanding they give you what you want first.
The truth is, sometimes our efforts lead to reconciliation, but sometimes they don’t. The other person may be unwilling to reconcile, or the relationship may be unsafe. In those situations, we have to remember that God is the defender of our reputation. Sometimes the most faithful step is to pray, maintain necessary boundaries, and refuse to talk behind someone’s back. We can entrust our cause to the God who vindicates his people, as Psalm 135:14 and Isaiah 54:17 remind us. Our responsibility is to remain faithful and trust him with the outcome.
"For the LORD will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants." -Ps 135:14.
"No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD and their vindication from me, declares the LORD.” - Is 54:17.
3. Help people experience reconciliation with God through the gospel.
Peacemaking includes helping people get along, but it reaches deeper than that.
In 2 Corinthians 5:18–20, Paul says God has entrusted us with the ministry of reconciliation. We are ambassadors for Christ, carrying the message that people can be reconciled to God through Jesus.
An ambassador represents the kingdom that sent them. That is who we are in a dark and broken world.
So pray for people. Listen to their stories. Tell them what Jesus has done. Invite them to trust him.
We carry the message of the peace everyone is searching for.
4. Let peacemaking flow from grace rather than guilt.
How many times have you missed an opportunity to share Jesus or help someone, then spent the next day beating yourself up?
The next opportunity comes, and you act because you think, “I have to do this, or I’m not being a good Christian.”
But that is a heavy way to live.
Peacemaking flows from the grace we’ve received, not the guilt we’re trying to escape.
When my kids graduated from kindergarten, nobody had to convince them to tell people. They wanted everyone to know the good news.
The more we understand the grace Jesus has given us, the more we want others to experience it too.
God isn’t asking you to earn what Jesus has already accomplished. He is inviting you to extend the grace you have received.
5. Pursue peace and trust God with the outcome.
Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
“If possible” reminds us that reconciliation will not always happen. You cannot control how another person responds.
“So far as it depends on you” reminds us that we still have responsibility. We can speak honestly, apologize sincerely, listen patiently, and pursue peace.
Your role is obedience, not controlling their response. Give that to God.
And sometimes necessary boundaries remain. Pursuing peace does not require returning to a harmful situation or pretending trust has been restored.
You can reflect your Father even when someone refuses reconciliation.
Move Toward What Is Broken
Our world desperately wants peace. Let’s not shrink the peace of God down to escaping difficult circumstances or keeping everyone comfortable.
Because Jesus moved toward us, we can move toward others, with humility, truth, forgiveness, and the hope of the gospel.
What is one step you can take this week? An apology? A conversation you have been avoiding? An invitation to someone who needs to hear about Jesus?
We are ambassadors of reconciliation. Let’s carry the peace we have received into the relationships God has placed before us, and trust him with what happens next.
Why do marriages fall apart, friendships end, families stop talking, and churches experience division?
I wonder if part of the problem is that we have misunderstood what peace actually is. We have learned how to keep everyone comfortable without ever addressing what is broken.
Jesus calls us to something deeper in the sermon on the mount. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” — Matthew 5:9
In other words, because Jesus made peace for us through the cross, we are called to do more than keep the peace; we are called to make peace like our Heavenly Father.
Peacekeeping and Peacemaking Are Different
When I talk about peacekeeping here, I mean maintaining the appearance of harmony by avoiding the truth.
You can have a marriage where nobody argues, but nobody is really talking. You can have friendships where everyone gets along, but nobody addresses what is broken. You can even have a church where everyone smiles on Sunday while resentment and division grow underneath the surface.
Peacekeeping has the appearance of peace without actually having peace.
Peacekeeping asks, “How can I keep anyone from getting upset?” Peacemaking asks, “How can I move toward what is broken with truth, humility, and love?”
That difference matters.
Through Jeremiah, God confronted leaders who were saying, “Peace, peace,” when there was no peace (Jeremiah 6:14). They were assuring people that everything was fine while refusing to address their rebellion against God.
And I wonder how often we do the same thing.
We call it peace when we ignore sin. We call it peace when we avoid a difficult conversation because we are afraid of the response.
When we pursue peace at the expense of truth, we haven’t made peace. We’ve simply made room for sin.
Now, that doesn’t mean being confrontational makes you courageous. Our culture already celebrates enough people who are hostile, divisive, and constantly looking for a fight. Peacemakers speak truth with gentleness and love.
Imagine telling someone around the dinner table how Jesus has forgiven you. Then you say, “And Jesus wants to forgive you too.”
Suddenly, the atmosphere changes.
“Wait. Are you saying I’m a bad person? Are you saying I need forgiveness?”
The temptation is to backpedal. We want everyone comfortable again. We don’t want to ruin dinner.
But we can become more concerned about keeping the peace around the table than helping someone experience peace with God.
We can respond humbly: “I need forgiveness too. That’s why Jesus is such good news.”
Who in your life are you more concerned about keeping comfortable than helping experience the peace of Jesus?
Jesus Made Peace Through the Cross
Biblical peace is bigger than the absence of conflict. The Old Testament word shalom carries the idea of wholeness, well-being, and life as God intended it.
But that kind of peace begins with reconciliation to God.
Colossians 1:20 tells us that Jesus made peace “by the blood of his cross.”
Think about that. The same Jesus who created all things and holds all things together came to reconcile sinful people to a holy God.
He didn’t ignore our sin or pretend our rebellion wasn’t a problem. He lived the perfectly righteous life we could never live and bore the judgment our sins deserved. He rose again, and everyone who trusts him receives forgiveness and peace with God.
He didn’t make peace by avoiding conflict. He made peace by bearing the cost of our reconciliation.
That peace changes our relationship with God, our relationships with one another, and the way we face difficult circumstances.
Jesus brings divided people together. In Ephesians 2:14, Paul calls Jesus our peace, describing how he broke down the hostility between Jews and Gentiles. We don’t have to share the same background, experiences, or preferences to belong together. We are united through Christ.
And the Holy Spirit helps us experience God’s peace as we learn to trust him.
There is a difference between having peace with God and experiencing the peace of God. Our reconciliation rests on what Jesus accomplished. Our experience of his peace grows as we take him at His word and abide in Him in the middle of life’s difficulties.
But here's what I have done, I keep telling ourselves we will finally have peace when the finances improve, the kids are doing well, and life becomes predictable.
What if we are shrinking God’s peace down to our ability to control our circumstances?
Jesus offers us something deeper than a predictable life. He gives us himself.
Five Ways to Be a Peacemaker
Jesus says peacemakers will be called sons of God. As we spend time with our Heavenly Father, we begin to resemble him.
So what does that look like?
1. Examine yourself first.
Before you address someone else’s sin, examine your own heart. Jesus calls us to deal with the log in our own eye before addressing the speck in someone else’s (Matthew 7:3–5).
Have you exaggerated? Assumed the worst? Punished someone through silence or sarcasm?
Sometimes we become so focused on what someone else has done that we fail to recognize what is happening in us.
Peacemakers ask God to examine them before they begin examining everyone else. They take responsibility and ask for forgiveness where it is needed.
2. Seek to understand before demanding to be understood.
Proverbs 18:17 reminds us that the first account of a situation can sound convincing until another person is heard.
Peacemakers listen. They ask questions. They resist assuming they already know someone’s motives.
That requires humility, especially when the conflict involves you. You will want to defend yourself, protect your reputation, and explain why you are right.
But maybe the best place to start is asking questions. Seeking to understand. Making peace requires being willing to move toward someone without demanding they give you what you want first.
The truth is, sometimes our efforts lead to reconciliation, but sometimes they don’t. The other person may be unwilling to reconcile, or the relationship may be unsafe. In those situations, we have to remember that God is the defender of our reputation. Sometimes the most faithful step is to pray, maintain necessary boundaries, and refuse to talk behind someone’s back. We can entrust our cause to the God who vindicates his people, as Psalm 135:14 and Isaiah 54:17 remind us. Our responsibility is to remain faithful and trust him with the outcome.
"For the LORD will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants." -Ps 135:14.
"No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD and their vindication from me, declares the LORD.” - Is 54:17.
3. Help people experience reconciliation with God through the gospel.
Peacemaking includes helping people get along, but it reaches deeper than that.
In 2 Corinthians 5:18–20, Paul says God has entrusted us with the ministry of reconciliation. We are ambassadors for Christ, carrying the message that people can be reconciled to God through Jesus.
An ambassador represents the kingdom that sent them. That is who we are in a dark and broken world.
So pray for people. Listen to their stories. Tell them what Jesus has done. Invite them to trust him.
We carry the message of the peace everyone is searching for.
4. Let peacemaking flow from grace rather than guilt.
How many times have you missed an opportunity to share Jesus or help someone, then spent the next day beating yourself up?
The next opportunity comes, and you act because you think, “I have to do this, or I’m not being a good Christian.”
But that is a heavy way to live.
Peacemaking flows from the grace we’ve received, not the guilt we’re trying to escape.
When my kids graduated from kindergarten, nobody had to convince them to tell people. They wanted everyone to know the good news.
The more we understand the grace Jesus has given us, the more we want others to experience it too.
God isn’t asking you to earn what Jesus has already accomplished. He is inviting you to extend the grace you have received.
5. Pursue peace and trust God with the outcome.
Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
“If possible” reminds us that reconciliation will not always happen. You cannot control how another person responds.
“So far as it depends on you” reminds us that we still have responsibility. We can speak honestly, apologize sincerely, listen patiently, and pursue peace.
Your role is obedience, not controlling their response. Give that to God.
And sometimes necessary boundaries remain. Pursuing peace does not require returning to a harmful situation or pretending trust has been restored.
You can reflect your Father even when someone refuses reconciliation.
Move Toward What Is Broken
Our world desperately wants peace. Let’s not shrink the peace of God down to escaping difficult circumstances or keeping everyone comfortable.
Because Jesus moved toward us, we can move toward others, with humility, truth, forgiveness, and the hope of the gospel.
What is one step you can take this week? An apology? A conversation you have been avoiding? An invitation to someone who needs to hear about Jesus?
We are ambassadors of reconciliation. Let’s carry the peace we have received into the relationships God has placed before us, and trust him with what happens next.
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